THE ORANGE FILM FUNDING BOARD
SEAN ASTIN PITCH.
BRENNAN: Mr Astin. How on middle earth do you follow Lord of the Rings?
SEAN: Well, I want to do something completely different.
FURST: Woah, that is a risky strategy.
BRENNAN: Yeah, after all youÔÇÖre good with the goblins.
SEAN : Goblins yes, but this is an epic romantic comedy. A contemporary story set in New York.
BRENNAN: Well IÔÇÖm OK with the contemporary part.
ALEX: What if it wasnÔÇÖt New York, but New Zealand.
BOARDMEMBERS: Ooohh.
BRENNAN: I like that.
SEAN: Well New York is integral to the story.
JACK: Just as New Zealand is integral to ours.
SEAN: WhatÔÇÖs your story?
BRENNAN: We make the fourth in the trilogy.
Holds up four fingers. Sean laughs.
SEAN: A trilogy is three.
BRENNAN: Come on, free your mind. Forget the shire. Set it in the future. We exchange the rings for the mobile phone.
SEAN: Mobile phones? ThatÔÇÖs a completely different idea.
BRENNAN: Listen to me now. Lord of the Ringtones.
FURST: Comma, Return of the phonecall.
ALEX: ItÔÇÖs all there.
SEAN: It sucks. (shaking head)
Sean jumps off height revealing lack of height.
BRENNAN: It sucks? Is that elfish for wonderful.
FURST: Master, hobbit has left his precious food. (In voice of Gollum)
BRENNAN: That voice makes me feel uncomfortable. IÔÇÖve told you that before.
END FRAME: DONÔÇÖT LET A MOBILE PHONE RUIN YOUR MOVIE. PLEASE SWITCH IT OFF.